Self: I would like you to help me enroll in cosmetology school.

Mom: You said you don't want to go to school, so why should I bother, blah! blah! blah!

Self: Actually, I said I don't want to go to school full time. I would like to attend cosmetology school part time.

Mom: You said you don't like school blah! blah! blah!

Self: Are you going to help me or not?

Mom: You said you don't want to go to school, you don't like to go to school blah! blah! blah!

Self: CAN WE PLEASE HAVE A FUCKING CONVERSATION IN THE HERE AND NOW I'M ASKING YOU TO FUCKING HELP ME WILL YOU STOP RESPONDING WITH INTERPRETATIONS OF STATEMENTS I'VE MADE ON AN EARLIER DATE!!!

Mom: Stop screaming at me, you're so mean, Wiiiiiiii!!!

Self: FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCKING HELL!

(quotidian)

Of course, we all have convenient recollections to some degree, and my mother's version of the conversation would be sizably distinct (less articulate on my part) and probably closer to accurate, but that doesn't change the fact that I'm exceedingly frustrated right now, so there!

Aaaaaaaaaaargh! I don't recall having signed any contracts before coming coming into this world, and I want nothing to do with your ridiculous monetary system, failed governments, or theoretical constitutions. I wish I could live like Buddha in this day and age and surrender my possessions and sit under a tree until I figure things out but, anymore, somebody owns that tree, and they're charging by the hour, and anyway, there's a deadline. Cosmetology school means 10k and a hundred hours of shampoo theory, 8 hours a day, five days a week, if you want to cut hair for the rest of your life. You can't just run around living and breathing and doing anything at all without meaningless bits of paper and duplicitous price tags indicating human value. Fuck all you dickheads who fought and died for my freedom. If freedom means working our asses off day after day so we can line the pockets of banking executives and corporate pimps, you can keep it. O wait, no you can't because you're fucking red, white, and dead! I feel like that dude in Idiocracy who wakes up in a world where everybody is incredibly retarted. You know, it's great that you went to school for five years and earned a title or worked some shitty sweatshop job 7 days a week for peanuts or whatever. Stop comparing me to you! I don't want to live like that. I don't want to live on this planet. I want to live with the planet that we are all a part of. Fuck all you cuntfaces who think you own the fucking world. You are deforesting my home with lies and selfishness because somewhere deep inside you're afraid that my dick is bigger than yours. Happiness is always just around the corner and you don't care who you have to crush beneath your limp cock to fill the gaping asshole in your ego ideal. Look at yourselves in your fancy suits and hundred thousand dollar cars and the latest touch screen cellphone while 90 percent of the world is living on less than ten dollars a day. I have the potential, to what, indefinitely strengthen and contribute to a fraudulent caste system which serves to further separate ourselves from nature and each other. But I'm so inexperienced and naive and fucking hell! I dare you to shove your goddamn American Dream, defeatist prick down my throat one more time because I will bite the motherfucker off!

Okay, so let's bring this up to date. I've been preoccupied lately, between moving back to Houston and feeling like shit and dating Virginia and a lot of other stuff. Adam came back with me to find a job, which he has, at Wendy's - Hooray! - so we're going to be looking for an apartment when and if I become employed. Spent like four days in a hospital for I don't even know what. You're hooked up to all kinds of monitors and an IV and they give you this bottle to pee in but the nurses don't have the courtesy to close the goddamn door. Psychological torture to the extreme. I cried like a baby when they told me I had to have a second MRI. They stick you in this tube, and it's like Paul Bostaph (Slayer) going psycho in your brain for 45 minutes, and evidently, I have a lesion on my pituitary (approximately .6 ml) which the doctors referred to as an adenoma which is basically, I hope, a benign tumor that may have existed since birth but was more likely caused by years of consuming Aspartame and Splenda because a previous doctor said I can't process sugar. Then, I was supposed to have a follow-up visit on Thursday with the endocrinologist who possibly has some inkling as to what's wrong with me, which judging from the symptoms could be anything from anemia to hypoglycemia to type 1 diabetes coupled with third-degree hypochondria. I'm rooting for anemia because it can be treated (without SSRIs), and lately I find I have a distinct predilection for being alive, especially since I've met Adam and Virginia - this really attractive, intelligent, and exceedingly talented transgendered (mtf) girl I met on OKCupid who has taken upon herself the duty of worrying extensively about my health - and my pet rats are depending on me for support. Anyway, we had to cancel the appointment because I don't have insurance, so I'm trying to enroll in cosmetology school, but I'm not sure I can handle being a full time student given my current state of affairs. America's healthcare system sucks ass.

It struck me as to why proponents of war so often use the term "fight for freedom". When a United States soldier kills a foreigner with whom he's never crossed paths before, esp. an innocent civilian, therefore depriving aforesaid victim of their freedom to live peacefully without being forced into an inherently corrupt political system, that individual's freedom is then divided amongst the United States populace. Ideally, to achieve any significant influx in liberty, we'll need to obliterate human beings en masse, until we are inexorably the freest and only nation in the world. After all, every American is entitled to life, liberty, and the pursuit of violence for profit. Let's all join the army! Who's with me?

Keep you doped with religion and sex and TV,
And you think you're so clever and classless and free,
But you're still fucking peasants as far as I can see,
A working class hero is something to be,

There's room at the top they are telling you still,
But first you must learn how to smile as you kill,
If you want to be like the folks on the hill,
A working class hero is something to be.

Therianthropy, from the Greek therion, meaning beast, and anthropos, man, is in effect, metamorphosis of man into animal. The term, used in the early 20th century and popularized by the Usenet group, alt.horror.werewolves, refers to spiritual belief in animal transformation. Therianthropy may be defined in myriad ways, therefore, I speak only for myself herein. It is essentially a New Age adaptation of Native American animal totemism wherein the totem is an internal aspect of an individual's nature. Closely associated with therianthropy is the term, otherkin, referring to anyone who regards themselves as something other than human in mind or spirit.

A lot of therians have some general idea as to why they are they way they are, i.e., animal soul in a human body, animal in a past life, psychological conditioning, etc.. I have no recollection of past lives, and I'm not sure I make any distinction between human and animal souls. There are so many possibilities to consider. It has occurred to me that therianthropy might be nature's way of creating balance; perhaps humanity could benefit in some way from the perspective of an animal. For me, the wolf is a symbol for freedom, compassion, and nature.

I've always felt a deep spiritual connection with nature and animals, as if I don't quite fit into this manufactured world. When I picked up Rosalyn Greene's The Magic of Shapeshifing, the book really hit home. I felt as if it had been written specifically for me, and as I became further acquainted with the concept of therianthropy, I realized that what I was searching for had been inside me from the start. Naturally, I doubted myself early on, but with time it became undeniably clear to me that somehow or another, I am both spiritually and psychologically wolf and human.

I am largely happy with my station in life, but now and then, the loneliness strikes like a hammer. I sometimes feel species dysphoric and I couldn't begin to understand the thought processes of most people, assuming they think at all. I feel as if I have to suppress a great many instinctive behaviours and tendencies that wouldn't be appropriate in our contemporary society. For instance, how would a friend react if I were to greet them by licking or nip at them playfully? You could say that I have a sort of pack mentality insomuch as I am not disposed to casual acquaintanceships and I like to keep my friends close. When it comes to non-therians, I tend to be upfront from the start, tell them what I believe, direct them to informative websites, etc..

“All that we are is the result of what we have thought. The mind is everything. What we think, we become.”
-- Gautama Buddha

Books on the subject include Rosalyn Greene's, The Magic of Shapeshifting and A Field Guide to Otherkin, by Lupa.

Numerous sites on the internet offer various perspectives:

• http://www.geocities.com/rainforest/canopy/1927/greenspiral/resource.html
  
• http://furry.wikia.com/wiki/Therian
  
• http://www.witchscauldron.net/cauldron/weres.htm
  
• http://www.absurdism.org/therianthropy/
  

Renouncing Christianity has been incredibly spiritually liberating for me insomuch as I have realized that I control my own destiny. A person's motives are far more indicative of their character than a particular set of beliefs or lack thereof. I promote doubt as opposed to absolute certainty. You might call me agnostic in regards to a higher power, with the intuition that that none exists, and almost certainly not that of the Abrahamic faiths. I'll take my chances, and suffer in hell with a good conscience rather than live in heaven with regret forever. It is not spirituality or belief in God that I wish to dismantle, rather the dogmatic oppressiveness of religion on the whole.

There are plenty of Christians whom I both respect and admire, but under no circumstances do I feel that anyone is obligated to demonstrate unwarranted respect for the delusions of others who would impose their substandard morality on myself and my family and friends. I agree to some extent that spirituality/faith is a part of a person's core personality, but organized religion is something that is imposed on someone from birth.

As a Christian, I truly believed in "the word of God" and consequently took upon myself the task of spreading that message whenever/wherever possible. Now that I have recanted, I honestly believe that religion makes false claims and hollow promises, and offers an incredibly bleak outlook on humanity overall, ultimately robbing people of their lives. I have far greater respect for those Christians who proselytize because they at least have the courage of their convictions. I do not aspire to be petty and cruel, but I truly believe that most people are capable on their own and would be much happier without the crutch of religion. I may not always go about this in the most productive way, but if I didn't care, I'd keep my thoughts to myself.

I attack beliefs and precepts, not people. Christians tend to see themselves as the victims when their beliefs are being attacked, yet somehow they overlook the countless innocent human beings who are slaughtered every day in the name of religion, or the impressionable youth who are psychologically abused with threats of fire and brimstone, or the unconstitutional amendments that are being passed to deny certain sects of the population equal rights. Admittedly, I am both incredibly confused and ridiculously frustrated, however, I am among the happiest people I know by and large. My message is more or less synonymous with the following quotation accredited to Gautama Buddha: "Peace comes from within. Do not seek it from without."

"Ridicule is the only weapon which can be used against unintelligible propositions. Ideas must be distinct before reason can act upon them; and no man ever had a distinct idea of the trinity. It is the mere Abracadabra of the mountebanks calling themselves the priests of Jesus"
-- Thomas Jefferson

"As I understand the Christian religion, it was, and is, a revelation. But how has it happened that millions of fables, tales, legends, have been blended with both Jewish and Christian revelation that have made them the most bloody religion that ever existed?"
-- John Adams

"Of all the systems of religion that ever were invented, there is none more derogatory to the Almighty, more unedifiying to man, more repugnant to reason, and more contradictory to itself than this thing called Christianity."
-- Thomas Paine

"Religion is the sigh of the oppressed creature, the heart of a heartless world, & the soul of soulless conditions. It is the opium of the people."
-- Karl Marx

"To follow by faith alone is to follow blindly."
-- Benjamin Franklin

Have you been Saved?
I've been saved from absolute certainty apropos an invisible sky tyrant who thinks homosexuals are an abomination and commits infanticide for lack of something useful to do with his infinite supply of time.

Have you been baptized?
I have successively recanted.

Which church do you attend?
I like to sleep in on Sundays.

Do you read your Bible daily?
. . . No.

Where is your Bible right now?
Its ashes are scattered in the wind.



http://youtube.com/user/SinnerLight

Which version of the Bible do you read?
Skeptics Annotated Bible

What's your favorite book in the Bible?
N/A

Do you listen to Christian Music OUTSIDE of Church?



Favorite Biblical Person?
Satan

Why?



Anything you just don't understand?
I don't understand people's need to control and impose their dogma on anyone else. If you believe what I'm doing (in forcing people to question their faith) is the same thing, then you're preposterously stupid.

Would you name your child after someone in the Bible?
Absolutely not.

Favorite passage?

Isaiah 45:7
I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace and create evil.

Do you pray a lot?
Never

Define prayer: Talking to one's self under the delusion that an external self-conscious deity is listening to you and a few billion others simultaneously and, moreover, gives a flying fuck.



Are your friends Christians?
God, no!

What do you think of other religions?
I think Hinduism is quite fascinating, actually.
The Baghavad Gita is beautiful.

What is your strongest Spiritual Gift?
Doubt

Do you share the word of God with others?
There is only the word of man.

Do you believe in Reincarnation?
To some extent. . . . It is inevitable.

"Is not Nature's never-ending process of generation and regeneration plain for my eyes to see? Nothing perishes, nothing on this earth is destroyed.
today a man, tomorrow a worm, the day after a fly--What is this if not eternal life?"
-- Dialogue Between a Priest and a Dying Man, the Marquis de Sade

More than anything I'd like to be reincarnated as a wolf when I die.

When was the last time you read the Bible?
From cover to cover? Never. The last time I read the Bible was the last time I lent any credence to the Christian faith.

When was the last time you went to Church?
Last summer.

Do you go to Sunday school?
No

Do you participate in your Church activities?
N/A

Do you tithe?
LOL

Do you think it's best to let your children find their own way?
Fuck, yes! It's the only fair way to raise a child. It is, of course, acceptable to tell them, this is what I believe, but to impose your beliefs on them, and worse, to threaten them with eternal damnation is nothing less than abuse.

Do you believe in Heaven and Hell?
I do not.

Do couples that pray together stay together?
Do couples that gay together. . . ?

Do you find yourself in tears quite often in Church?
N/A

Finish it:

Jesus is. . . . Fiction
The Bible is. . . . Fiction
God is. . . . Fiction
I sometimes struggle with. . . . The willful ignorance of family and friends.
I was blessed with. . . . A fundamentally contrarian nature coupled with the inclination to question everything.
My spiritual goal is. . . . Self-fulfillment
Please help me pray for/that. . . . Don't waste your prayers on me. I'm not the one who is deluded.

"The way is not in the sky. The way is in the heart."
-- Buddha

I lost my cell phone in a blizzard a couple of days ago. Anyway, all of the applications I've filled out are now useless. I've had one interview since I've moved here, whereat I lied my ass off in desperation, but they never called back. So fuck it all. I'm going back to Houston, at least until I can get through cosmetology school. I've thought about checking myself into an institution just to stay in Indiana. I'm going to drive around aimlessly now and brood for awhile.

Today, Adam accompanied me to a clinic in Portage, whereat my anxiety disorder was confirmed at iniquitous expense. I think doctors are trained to persuade you that you're unqualified to diagnose yourself, but it's not particularly difficult for anyone with internet access. Anyway, anxiety notwithstanding, I'm relatively healthy as far as Dr. Abey can tell without blood testing, which I certainly can't afford sans insurance. He prescribed Sertraline, a generic brand of Zoloft, which after extensive research, I have decided against taking considering its reputation for rendering people suicidal among numerous other side effects. I've been looking into natural supplements lately with encouraging results. I haven't had sufficient sleep for quite some time now, so I'm going to take some Valerian, and hopefully conk out. Osda svnoyi.

It has become clear to me insofar as my condition will allow, through various events and circumstances, that I am suffering from dementia. This explains my disposition to stop at green lights and continue through at red and search exasperatedly for my hat to finally discover that it was on my head all along. Today I retrieved a gallon of milk, and placing it on the counter opened the refrigerator once again in search of the milk, genuinely confounded as to the whereabouts thereof. I cannot recall simple words in standard discourse, and my problem solving skills have been reduced considerably. Even my writing seems to be lacking the usual humour and wit that largely define my style, but as the Bible says, man cannot live on pizza and hot dogs alone... or something to that effect. I've purchased some B-complex pills at the recommendation of my room mate's mother, and I'm making an effort to include more fruits and vegetables in my diet. My panic attacks have been occurring less frequently in the past few days, and I have an appointment scheduled with Adam's doctor next Monday. A position has recently opened at the Wendy's nearby, and I've applied for a job there. And to cap it all, I have a date for Valentine's. When life gives you lemons, put them in your tea along with sage and skullcap and variegated herbs and vitamins and make a journal post for lack of something more constructive to do with your time.

Despite my undying optimism, my anxiety seems to be escalating progressively. I'm not even sure I have GAD anymore. At first, I felt relatively normal, minus the occasional panic attack here and there, but now feelings of normalcy are the moments in between. I can't seem to find a job, certainly not for lack of trying, and at this point, I don't think I could handle working with people in any sort of environment. I can hardly drive on the highway anymore without flipping out. I can't talk without choking up. My self esteem has reached new depths. I'm so fucking scared, and to top it all, I'm not sure how or why, but I've got this grating scab in my right ear, and it's driving me (even more) batshit. I still don't have medical insurance, and I'm trying to schedule an appointment with a certified psychologist. I'm hanging on by a thread, but it's unraveling rapidly. I thought I could handle this on my own.

Nothing's what it seems to be,
I'm a replica, I'm a replica
Empty shell inside of me
I'm not myself, I'm a replica

I've been planning this latest installment to LJ for a few days now, and I thought I was on the verge of something important, but now that I'm sitting here, continually typing and backspacing and retyping my thoughts, I realize I have nothing of substance to say. I've been letting the negativity of other people rub off on me as of late. I have a good head on my shoulders, and I know what I want at this juncture in life. I mean to pursue it diligently, but I won't live in fear of what the future holds in store. I don't broadcast my life in fractions for the benefit of anyone else. Keeping a journal helps me to systematize my thoughts and grow as a person, and it's fascinating to look back and see how much I've changed over time and to what extent I've remained the same. Is a person's essence that which is unalterable or is it the ability to transform in and of itself? I doubt anybody reads my journal anyway, so if you come across this post, even if you don't know me, I'd like you to leave a comment, just to see if I really am talking to myself as I'm inclined to believe. Nvwadohiyadv.

Tonight it ocurred to me that despite my repudiation to myself and my close network of friends, namely my room mate, I hate my ex boyfriend with a passion. He is quite easily the biggest dick I have ever had the displeasure to be acquainted with. I resent having these feelings of vehement animosity for another human being, but I'm completely fed up, which given my metabolic rate for tolerance, is an incredible incident of its own accord. I can't engage in simple activities without worrying about how Mix will (over)react, which is always without fail, negatively. How I ever ended up dating such a megalomaniacal, pompous asshole in the first place eludes my comprehension. He expects everyone to parallel his self-delusions of greatly exaggerated intelligence and never hesitates to insult my own with irreverent vitriol. He constantly makes allusions to statements he believes he made in the past and reasons that the whole world is conspiring against him. He cannot conceive that anyone might have a different modus operandi than his own on any given matter, yet genuinely wonders why he's so fucking monumentally miserable. In a recent argument, he revealed that, "my happiness depended on you" throughout the duration of our brief relationship, as if my sole responsibility were to entertain the ridiculous demands of a theriodic, psychic leech. Whether consciously or unconsciously - I'll give him the benefit of the doubt despite my personal conjecture - he goes to great lengths to manipulate those around him, extracting unwarranted feelings of guilt, the perpetuation of which he seemingly requires to function as the facsimile of a human being. Granted, he is not the leading causative factor of my anxiety, but every time I look at him, I am overcome with a sense of all-pervading resentment such that my solitary preoccupation becomes imagining myself as far from this inept, self-pitying bully as humanly fucking possible. In spite of my unadulterated contempt which is inexorably taking a physical toll, I wish Mix nothing but happiness, which I doubt he has any capacity to reciprocate to myself or anyone. Congratulations for having elicited magnanimous hatred from one of the most tolerant, forbearing people you will ever know. I'm taking responsibility for my own happiness, a concept far beyond the reaches of your limited understanding. I will not succumb to your bullshit for an instant longer. Now please go rat fuck yourself with a tire iron.

Love is one of the most intense emotions felt by man; another is hate. Forcing yourself to feel indiscriminate love is very unnatural. If you try to love everyone you only lessen your feelings for those who deserve your love. Repressed hatred can lead to many physical and emotional ailments. By learning to release your hatred towards those who deserve it, you cleanse yourself of these malignant emotions and need not take your pent-up hatred out on your loved ones.
Anton Szandor LaVey, The Satanic Bible

Name something you did yesterday?
Smoking would seem to have triggered the worst panic attack of my life, lasting over three hours. I locked myself in my head and imagined myself dying in every conceivable way as well as some inconceivable ones, took some catnip and valerian root in capsules, drifted into sleep, and woke a few hours later, shaken and still relatively panicked.

Your best friend likes your last ex, you say?
Long distance relationships are never really enough.

Last person you text messaged?
Mix

What's your relationship status?
Taken

Do you have a chair in your room?
Affirmative

What are you doing tomorrow?
Most likely visiting a nearby retirement home to apply for a job, or at least do some volunteer work, and looking for cosmetology schools in the area.

What color is your hair?



Ever been kissed in the rain?
Not to my recollection.

Do you play an instrument?
Negative

Have you ever wanted to be a teacher?
The thought may have crossed my mind once or twice but never really stuck.

Do you miss anyone?
A lot of people.

Do you want kids?
I possess neither the mental nor financial stability to make a responsible parent at this juncture in my life. Perhaps sometime in the distant future I will adopt children, but I have too many health problems to consider passing them on.

Who was the last person to disappoint you?
Mix

Are you going anywhere for the next summer?
Home.

Are you waiting for anyone's call right now?
Negative

Do you ever think "what if" about anything?
What if I didn't? I wouldn't make a very good author.

Who/what is on your mind right now?
Everything and nothing at all. I have this irrational fear that my brain is slowly deteriorating into nothing, and my subconscious seems to be making an effort to communicate in the form of severe anxiety attacks.

Do you miss the way things used to be?
Not particularly.

Is there someone on your mind that shouldn't be?
I think not.

Its 4am, your phone rings who is it?
It's 2:58, here.

What do you think of people who smoke?
Depends on the individual. I think I'm done smoking for a while.

Have you ever liked somebody and never told them?
Probably.

How do you think you look right this moment?
Like shit.

Do you have a best friend that knows you inside and out?
Not anymore.

When was the last time you cried really hard?
Christmas

Is something bothering you right now?
My relationship with Mix, the dissolution of my psychosomatic construct on the whole, both of which seem to be influencing the other unfavourably. I thought I could work through this on my own.

Did you see someone cute today?
Affirmative

Do you have a reason to cry right now?
I might be crying if I could find the strength.

Are you cheating on someone right now?
Never

I've been feeling sick for the past few days, between the ulcers inside my lower lip and throat, the sporadic headache and probable fever which seemingly occur whenever I'm away from home for a significant period of time. Petey's cuddling next to me on the sofa at the moment, reminding me how badly I miss my dog. I'm beginning to realize how much I've taken for granted, but I don't regret my decision to move on.

"Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover."
-- Mark Twain

Mix brought something to light a few days ago that has bothered me tremendously. I'm leaving my family and friends in Houston to live with him in some strange lady's basement, and he suddenly tells me he'd like to have an open relationship. I thought I could just ignore this and move on, but an increasing sense of inadequacy (coupled with transcendent fatigue) is overwhelming me. I'm still relatively inexperienced with relationships, but I'm willing to go to great lengths to make this work. I know you'll read this entry, and I don't resent you for being straightforward. I wish I could reciprocate that, but I keep choking up, so I'm writing this as a catharsis, to let go of any and all negative feelings. Tsigeyui Bouda.

Two weeks ago, I packed some clothes, my hair straightener, and a toothbrush, and departed for Chicago, Illinois at approximately four AM on a Saturday to meet an online friend, possibly more, and eventually engage in excruciating anal intercourse. The passenger seated next to me on the first half of the flight who felt inclined to read the Bible aloud, thought I needed to hear his life story, and accused me of adultery for having previously looked at a woman with lust in my eye served as an adequate distraction from my anxiety at flying alone for the first time. Mix retrieved me from the airport and we made our way to his current habitation in Chesterton, Indiana where we customarily pass time mocking religion, pretending to understand politics, occasionally immersing ourselves in arbitrary philosophical discussion, and accompanying his room mate, Adam, to El Salto for some triangles with red sauce. I should note that Mix is uniquely romantic in his own erratic manner: We exchanged our first kiss at the Chicago Zoo whereat he officially asked me out and presented me with my very own "boyfriend ring". I miss my family and friends in Houston, although I've made new ones here, including Adam, his friend Mouse, a dragon furry in Illinois and a pit bull named Petey. As much as I am growing to love Mix, it's hard to believe we've only been together fifteen days. I should think we're learning more about each other as the relationship progresses, like the fact that he never brushes his teeth, rarely showers, eats maybe once a week, and has been wearing the same outfit since the day we met, and a million other trivial things, both positive and negative. He's quite intelligent, sensitive, affectionate, and has the most amazing blue eyes. I really enjoy being myself with Mix, and we share common spiritual beliefs (therianthropy/totemism). I'll be home for Christmas soon, and if things continue to go well in Indiana, I'll most likely make this my future residence insomuch as Adam's mother has invited me to live in her basement.

I've been feeling particularly lonely as of late. My friend/ex girlfriend paid me a visit, and within the first fifteen minutes, her father, who dislikes me tremendously for reasons nobody really quite understands, called and I had to take her home. We discussed moving in together, because I've promised my family I'll be out of the house by January if I have to live on the street. Not that they want me to leave, but I feel it's time to move on. If you're reading this post and wondering why I've said ex girlfriend, as it happens, I am only mostly gay. I would previously have described myself as pansexual, however, in light of recent circumstances (involving a suicidal girlfriend), I feel inclined to take a break from the opposite sex. I'll admit to being partially sexist; although men are far from perfect:

More women than men report a history of attempted suicide, with a gender ratio of 3:1

More men than women die by suicide.
The gender ratio is 4:1.
http://www.healthieryou.com/suicstats.html

Data for the late 1990s consistently showed that more females than males were admitted to hospital due to self-harm. This is again observed for 2003-04 as females accounted for 62% of hospitalised self-harm cases in that year (i.e., 14,228 female and 8,722 male cases).

http://auseinet.flinders.edu.au/files/factsheets/selfharmstats_mar07.pdf

In May, 2007, researchers with the Centers for Disease Control reported on rates of self-reported violence among intimate partners using data from a 2001 study. In the study, almost one-quarter of participants reported some violence in their relationships. Half of these involved one-sided ("non-reciprocal") attacks and half involved both assaults and counter assaults ("reciprocal violence"). Women reported committing one-sided attacks more than twice as often as men (70% versus 29%). In all cases of intimate partner violence, women were more likely to be injured than men, but 25% of men in relationships with two-sided violence reported injury compared to 20% of women reporting injury in relationships with one-sided violence. Women were more likely to be injured in non-reciprocal violence.[30]

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Domestic_violence

Your result for With which under appreciated artist (or otherwise) is your personality most paralleled?...

Christy Grandjean

Take With which under appreciated artist (or otherwise) is your personality most paralleled? at HelloQuizzy

Zeitgeist, directed by political activist Peter Joseph, ecourages viewers to take a more critical view of the government and events surrounding 9/11 as well as religion and the federal reserve. Zeitgeist - Addendum, now premiering, focuses on taking a stand.

The failure of our world to resolve the issues of war, poverty, and corruption, rests within a gross ignorance about what guides human behavior to begin with. It addresses the true source of the instability in our society, while offering the only fundamental, long-term solution.



"All tyranny needs to gain a foothold is for people of good conscience to remain silent."
-- Thomas Jefferson

http://zeitgeistmovie.com

http://www.loosechange911.com/finalcut/

After three previous break-ups and two suicide attempts on her behalf, Jennie and I are now officially unofficial. Last week was very likely the worst week of my life and perhaps the most enlightening. I was accosted by a very flirty and drunken mortician midget in a bar after which Jenny, angrily as usual, proceeded to walk home as I was paying for my meal, then ended our relationship for the last time over something or another. I don't understand how everything could have turned out so awfully wrong, but I'm making an effort to move on. I don't want to bore you with the details, which is to say, I'm still very hurt and weary of thinking this over. Anyway, the whole thing is evidently my fault, or so she would have me believe. I think I've done all I can do at this point. I'll try to remember the good stories and learn from past mistakes.